[IAN STILLMAN]: Recording on. Regular maintenance check in from Top Brass, May 2011 CE. This is watcher on duty, Ian Stillman, speaking for the Human Control Group with the Ambassador from outside. Commencing interview.
[THE AMBASSADOR]: Commence report.
[I.S.]: Initial section activities largely performed to schedule. The recent glut of project activity has led some to question the necessity of such high-media events in quick succession. I have been asked by several colleagues to request clarification.
[AMBASSADOR]: Following a sustained policy of ‘natural’ control mechanisms, human-led media events allow the species to quell its paranoia and assume a position of control, while still subdued enough by atmosphere of trepidation to not repeat the near-terminal actions of the First Nuclear Error. Heavy use of events with greatest significance to Human Section 1-the ‘West’- such as the monarchial wedding, death of alleged terrorist, et cetera, also detracts attention from those nations currently undertaking more essential projects. This is all you need to know.
[I.S.]: Acknowledged sir. Have also been asked by colleagues representing the British Isles as to the rationale behind the recent referendum outcome?
[AMBASSADOR]: Use the term ‘decision’. Nothing is accidental. Election results as always were tailored to provide minimum disruption. Remind colleagues also that Nation is a deliberate construct of the project, and that an overt focus on local events is a lapse of responsibility and a lack of perspective.
[I.S.]: Acknowledged, sir.
[AMBASSADOR]: Continue report, with reduced emphasis on emotive events. Emotion is a construct of the project. Have there been setbacks?
[I.S.]: Minimal, sir. Small populace in Human Section 4 showed signs of developing an immunity to Community Progression Regulator drug C2H5OH: Ethanol. The community has been sterilised to prevent the mutation from threatening the project through negative species evolution. The death of the terrorist has also led to conspiracy theorists coming unusually close to discussion of the project. Leading theorists are being carefully monitored for excess knowledge.
[AMBASSADOR]: Do not continue this action. The human tendency to extrapolate paranoid conclusions from emotive events is a deliberate construct of the project. It lessens the chance of belief should the project be betrayed by one of its fallible subjects such as yourself.
[I.S]: . . .Acknowledged, sir.
[AMBASSADOR]: Do not overestimate your manifestation, watcher on duty. Humanity is a construct of the project, pre-programmed with limited cognizance to remain controllable by the project. Even those individuals who have foreseen the inevitability of stage VI which they name the ‘machine singularity’ are kept from the whole truth by a neurologically conditioned inability to recognise time and space as independent and malleable and an inescapable predilection to perceive truth indirectly through approved frameworks of conceptual metaphor.
[PAUSE: 5.6 SECONDS. AUDIBLE STUTTERING]
[I.S.]: Sir, if I may enquire?
[I.S.]: . . .uh, um. Given the problematic nature of the species, and its, uh, increasing need for external and chemical sedation, why does the project continue. . .with. . .us?
[AMBASSADOR]: The issue has been discussed periodically by co-ordinators. It has been agreed that the flaws of humanity are insufficient to render them unusable, and that the millennia of work with this particular species have been a sizable enough investment to make repeating the process with a replacement slave-species
[AMBASSADOR]: I also wish it EMPHATICALLY NOTED that any suggestions that my own arguments to preserve the species have not been founded entirely on rationale and devotion to the project, and in some way spring from a form of affection built up through my millennia of work as your direct supervisor are utterly unfounded and not to be entertained.
[AMBASSADOR]: Is that clear?
[I.S.]: Acknowledged, sir. Uh, clear, sir.
[AMBASSADOR]: Is your report complete?
[PAUSE: 3.8 SECONDS]
[I.S.]: Uh. . .yessir. I believe the other issues I have here can be. . .dealt with in house. Thank you for your time sir.
[AMBASSADOR]: Continue re the 21st Century manifest as issued 21/12/99. We will speak again after one hundred rotations as you perceive them.
[I.S.] Yessir. Your instructions will be obeyed.
[AMBASSADOR]: I know.