The Tribulations of Vampire Tortoise

THE TRIBULATIONS OF VAMPIRE TORTOISE.

What if tortoises were vampires?

What if vampires were a tortoise?

These are questions we’ve all asked ourselves.

Read on to find out.

Vampire Tortoise

Enjoy!

Click the little arrow in the bottom right of the CloudUp widget above, and it will take you to a full-screen (and therefore readable) version!

If that doesn’t work, click here, or scroll down to see the individual images below (you can click them to see them at full size, but doing it this way’s a bit of a pain really).



 

 

VT Page 1

[ONE DAY, A MILD-MANNERED TORTOISE]

[*exuding mildness of manner*]

[…WAS BITTEN BY A VAMPIRE BAT!]

[*bitey*]

[“ow!”]

VT Page 3

[DESPITE THE MILDNESS OF HIS MANNERS…

…THE TORTOISE BEGAN TO FEEL…

…VERY …VERY…

THIRSTY!]

[“I would like to suck your blood very very slowly please?”]

[“Ooh, I’m right parched.”]

VT Page 4

[BUT!]

[IT’S NOT VERY EASY FOR A TORTOISE TO CORNER A COMELY MAIDEN IN A LOW-CUT NIGHTGOWN AND SUCK HER BLOOD]

[“Please come over here I only need 5cc or so, I hope that’s no bother”]

[*going quite rapidly for a tortoise*]

[“I’m going to walk slowly away in this direction, bye.”]

[*unhurried amble*]

VT Page 5

[*flutter of batty little wings*]

[…SO, VAMPIRE TORTOISE FLEW HOME…]

VT Page 6

[(TO THE FANCY CASTLE WHICH YOU GET FROM THE UNION WHEN YOU BECOME A VAMPIRE)]

VT Page 7

[…AND HAD A MANGO LASSI INSTEAD]

[“Well, this was a much better idea.”]

[THE END!]

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